Morning Sickness

I feel like I could throw up (sorry for the graphic beginning to my post). I have morning sickness. More specifically I'd call it Monday morning sickness. Every Sunday evening it begins. It is especially intense on the Sunday nights when another travel group from our agency gets to celebrate gotcha day on the other side of the world. So tonight, I'm feeling it pretty badly. I'm thrilled that families will be knitted together tonight but I can't help but think that these were people who were logged in after us. And we still don't even have an LOA. We don't know when we'll be able to hold Caleb. Not a clue. And that is what is so hard. We'd like to think that we'll still make it there in September but as the weeks pass, it becomes even harder to imagine. Each Monday is the question, will today be the day? Or will we be waiting yet another week. Supposedly nothing is wrong with our file. So why is nothing happening? Why do they keep skipping us and putting us at the bottom of the pile? When will they finally say, ok, this little boy has gone without his family long enough? When will I finally be able to answer the ever present question, "When are you going to China? Have you heard anything?"
I have a jammed packed day tomorrow and that makes me think that we won't get anything tomorrow. Is that God's way of keeping me so busy I don't have time to think about it? Well, not a chance about that. I get to sit in a waiting room for a drs appt (and you can figure out which one it is) with a bunch of pregnant women. I feel like the very overdue woman who wants her baby out NOW!!! Unfortunately I don't think Dr. Aron can help me with this one.
And yes, I know God's timing is best. I know He has it all planned out. I don't doubt any of that. But knowing all that doesn't change the emotions on this roller coaster ride.
Sorry to be a downer. It really does help me to vent here. I'd like to tell you that we hope to be next and that we should get our LOA tomorrow. Ken seems to think that tomorrow is the day. But I've learned the hard way that I just can't make that prediction anymore. Just because something should happen doesn't mean that it will. I will tell you that a gotcha day will not be celebrated more sweetly than when little Caleb is placed in our arms. Of that you can be sure. Now if we could just know when that would be....