feeling a bit like Job

I've been reading Job this morning (yes, all of it) and I'm understanding a bit how he felt. Things just don't seem fair. We have not had one thing go quickly or smoothly in this adoption. If something takes everyone else x amount of time, we have gone beyond that (except for our lid). We were ready for our homestudy to be done in January - it wasn't done until March. 171 were coming in 2 weeks time. Ours took a month. PA usually comes within a month, ours took 6 weeks. The average for loa is 120 days, ours was 140. And now those who were going to be traveling Oct 4 are leaving tomorrow - yes tomorrow. That pretty much seals our October 25 date. I can't imagine that AWAA will send a group out during trade fair now. So that means another 7 weeks to wait to travel. Most people have been waiting a month or so to travel after loa. We will wait 2 months. And all the while, we have a little boy waiting for us who keeps being described as weak and needing us badly!
I do not question God's goodness, nor his plan for our lives or Caleb's. This warrior is just tired of this battle. And yes, I see it as a battle. I am already having a hard time with the wait and now we have to wait almost 2 more months. I cannot do that on my own strength. I am going back and forth between being angry and sad. I am done - I want this over with. I want my little boy home!!!!
I have learned some important lessons though:
*I will never tell someone "It is all in God's timing". I'm embarrassed that I ever have said that. It rings so hollow when you are in the midst of a trial and it implies that the person's faith is somehow lacking. Poor Job - he got that from all his friends. They meant well but they just didn't get it. I get it - I will be a much more supportive person to those who are in a struggle.
*Bad stuff happens and isn't always the direct result of some lack of faith or prayer on my part. If that were the case, Caleb would have been home a long time ago!
*No matter what happens, we are supposed to give God the glory. This has been a tough one at times. It is hard to do when something just seems so wrong. Yet I know that this is what I'm supposed to do. So I pray that the Holy Spirit will help me do this.
*God loves my kids more than I do and He can take care of them just fine. That doesn't take away my responsibility or my "mama bear" instincts. It just means that He is bigger than me and my love for them doesn't even come close to His. And after pouring out my heart to Him for my kids, that gives me a better understanding of the scope of His love!
Some of you may think that I've gone off the deep end. At times I feel like I have. I feel like I've gone through an emotional and spiritual ringer. I have never in my life experienced anything like this. Some of you may think that I just don't have enough faith. Well, you'd be wrong. The refiner's fire hurts. It is hot. And it isn't fun. Knowing that the end product will be a beautiful masterpiece helps at times but it doesn't take away the pain right now.
So those of you who want to help, pray for me and our family. Pray that we will be able to perservere through this battle honoring God. Pray that He will keep our little Caleb healthy until we can finally get on that plane and go get him. Give us permission to suffer and not act as if nothing is happening or that we should be happy to be this close. I'm not asking for a pity party. Just permission to work through this with God.